After losing a loved one, your family and friends try to comfort you as best they can. And you should be appreciative for the empathy they are trying to show you. With that being said, when you are mourning a loss, the last thing you want to hear is “I can’t imagine if this happened to me…” or something similar to that. That is not comforting. Sometimes, less is more. Sometimes, all you need is someone to be there for you knowing that you can communicate with them, even if it is nonverbally. You always want to have those people that will be there for you no matter the situation. I am very fortunate in that respect.
How much time does one need to be able to mourn a loss without being “criticized?” I honestly have no clue to that clinical answer, nor do I really give a shit! As a human being, the answer is on an individual basis. And if someone tells you otherwise, tell them to go kick rocks (this is the first time I have used this phrase – And I kind of like it)! We are all called individuals for a reason, therefore we mourn differently and at different speeds. In addition, some people graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in 4 years (and some people graduate in 10.5 years)! The journey is what really matters and learning valuable life lessons along the way!
So, this brings me to the topic of this blog post – “The Little Things After Losing A Loved One”. If you have lost someone close to you, then I imagine you know exactly what I mean. And if you have not experienced this, then it can be hard to put this into words. The reality is at some point, everyone will unfortunately have to go through this tragic event. It is just part of the life cycle. Enjoy every moment you have with the people close to you!
The little things that you never thought twice about before losing a loved one can become a big deal. I lived with my dad before he passed away. I would come home whenever, and it would not be a big deal. Now, I have no interest in coming home late to an empty house. With my dad being on Dialysis for many years, he would have to cough a lot. This may sound weird, but it is strange to not have that noise at the house. And it can be lonely when you were a caretaker for someone, and they are no longer here. I am sure most people have experienced this if you have lost your parent(s) – It is very hard to sit there and listen to others complain about their parents. Again, I know there are exceptions to every rule, but it would be easier for people close to you to have as much empathy as they can. I only wish I could talk to my parents.
A perfect example – I went to Provinos (an Italian restaurant that offers a free birthday dinner) on his recent birthday. I sat there by myself. For many years, we would meet there for both our birthdays! And I had an empty seat across from me. It just put this whole loss into perspective. His birthday is still going to come around every year. And I will still have to have dinner that night. In my personal opinion, you should try to carry on certain traditions to be able to remember your loved ones, because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, all you will have are your memories.
If you are fortunate enough to still have your close loved ones living, what are you going to do to make sure you have as many good memories as you can with them?