One of my goals on this blog is to not be too morbid, but today’s blog post is about the term – Deathbed. If you have never had an experience with the death of a loved one, then this is just a compound word. On the other hand, if you have dealt with death in some capacity, then the word deathbed may have a real emotional meaning to you.
I have seen three of the closest people in my life pass away on their deathbed. My mom passed away in July of 1998 in her hospital room. My maternal grandfather passed away in January of 2013 in a hospital – like bed in his living room with hospice and the family near by. And most recently, my dad passed away in a hospice facility in August of 2017.
In all honesty, watching a loved one on their deathbed is one of the hardest things an individual can go through in their life. To see that person suffering and knowing they have exhausted all of their options leaves you feeling as helpless as one can feel. At that point, the one and only goal is to make them feel as comfortable and pain free as you possibly can while knowing the inevitable.
From my perspective, it is not in the best interest to let the person transitioning know your full emotions. If they are cognizant, worrying is the last thing they need before they leave this earth. I believe that one’s hearing is the last thing to go before someone passes away, but they will not be able to verbalize anything. You can talk to them and let them know it is okay for them to go and for them to not worry about anything. You basically give them the permission they want but cannot ask for, so they can go in peace.
What is very hard for the family is not being able to tell their loved one how they felt before they passed away. Think about all those conversations you had with them throughout your life, and the one that most likely made the biggest impact on you cannot be verbalized to them. It is crazy to me after all these years with my mom passing away when I was 12 years old, that I could never talk with her about everything I was feeling when she passed away and everything that has gone on since then. More recently, it is the same with my grandfather and dad passing away. It really makes you put your life in perspective.
I am not going to sit here and say I have not let little things bother me since my dad passed away in August, but I do try to take a step back and realize is this something that is going to really matter when I am on my deathbed – Most of the small stuff we get worked up about with our blood pressure boiling over do not mean jack shit at the end of the day! There are exceptions, but I am speaking in relative terms.
The question you have to ask yourself is – What do you want your legacy to be when you are on your deathbed when all is said and done? Once you figure out that answer, my advice is to go out there and live each day as if it were your last, because we really do not know how long we have here on earth.
What are you waiting for?